Day 130 – Dr. appointment update
Just a quick report. Had my doctor’s appointment today. I told him all my complaints – my ankle hurts, my knee hurts, my foot is swollen, and I still can’t put all my weight on my foot without my leg buckling from under me. He responded with an order for AQUA-therapy. I was expecting regular physical therapy but I get to do aqua-therapy. I’m excited and looking forward to it. Let’s get this ball rolling, I’m ready to walk!! 3 times a week for the next month. He said if things go as planned, I should be able to get out of my boot and into a shoe after I do therapy. Yippee!!! So excited!
Day 121 – I’m alive!
Sorry, I fell off the face of blog world but I have returned. I’ve been busy so let me catch you up.
After my last post, I had a doctor’s appointment and was told that I could start putting about 25% of my weight on my foot. I was thrilled!! Finally I could start trying to walk!! Well, that was about a month ago and I’m still on these damn crutches!! >:-( Let me back up a little and explain how my foot reacted to having the pins out. First it was pure heaven! I had to wait 2 days before I could get my foot completely wet but when I finally placed my foot into the tub of water, it felt amazing!! My foot was still quite sore and very swollen after the pin removal. As I mentioned before, the removal in the office was very painful for me. The pin holes closed very fast, though, and I had just minor tenderness in the area. I had a lot more peeling skin for several days after that up until just last week. My scars are moderate but I’m not worried about those at all. I do have an additional scar from the rash I had developed right before the pins were removed. The rash remained very itchy for about 2 weeks after the pins were removed and then began to clear up on its own. I believe I had some kind of reaction to the pins since antibacterial and antifungal creams did nothing to clear it up prior to the removal. As for the toe itself, I’ve been worried. The toe is slightly longer than my pinky toe. Not ideal, but much improved than it was before. I’m ok with that because I know i could not handle the pain of the distraction process anymore. I could barely turn the screw anymore at the end! The toe, though, is angling toward my pinky toe and my pinky toe is angling in, hiding under the brachy toe. I can understand the pinky toe wanting to go under the brachy because it’s never had a toe next to it and it’s getting pushed outward from its usual spot. The brachy toe is still raised and angling outwards though. I can manipulate the toes with my hand into the correct positions, they just won’t stay that way. My doc says he’s sure the toe will settle in its rightful place when the swelling comes down and I begin to walk more. I’m not so sure. I guess that’s another of those “wait & see” situations.
Now back to the walking, I began by putting a little weight on my heel. Boy did that hurt!!! After a day of doing this, my heel felt like it had a giant bruise on it. Everytime I put some weight on it, it was like pressing on a large, fresh bruise! My ankle also felt like it was going to disintegrate! I could feel the tendons and muscles on the sides of my ankle straining to work but they were so weak and so stiff! It took several days, but I’ve gradually gotten more range of motion in my ankle, but to this day, my heel and ankle are in a lot of pain! My brachy toe gets a little achy by the end of the day, but it’s my ankle that is causing me problems! I forgot to mention that I’m doing all this with a boot on. I’ve tightened the straps as much as I can up my calf to give my ankle support but it’s just not enough. Being non-weight bearing for 3 1/2 months really takes it’s toll. Today, I am up to putting about 75% of my weight on my foot but now my knee and hip feel like they want to buckle from underneath me. Therefore, I still use the crutches to stabilize and take some of the weight off. The swelling in my foot has increased due to the attempts at walking. My last appointment was a week and a half ago and my next one isn’t for another week and a half. I’ve called them to see if I could get an order for physical therapy. I think this is the way to go in order to get my strength back in my ankle and leg. I also don’t want to injure my ankle/foot in any way. Speaking of injury, last week, I managed to pull my pec muscle. It’s right at my armpit, going into the side of my chest. It is SO excruciating trying to use crutches! So, I can’t put all my weight on my foot, but I can’t put too much weight on my crutches. I’m completely screwed right now. I have a personal deadline as well. I must be walking by mid-December because we’re going on a family vacation! My doc thinks this is achieveable but I’m not so sure anymore. Hopefully I’ll hear back soon from my doc about starting PT asap. Looking back, I personally disagree with my doc about being non-weight bearing. I completely understand that I lowered the risk of complication during the ex. fix. phase, but it’s making the recovery overall that much harder. I’m not a doctor, that’s just my opinion from a patient point of view. But I can’t dwell on the past, I must work with the hand that I was dealt and that’s what I’m going to do.
Thanks for reading…
Day 82 – New Sensations
Now I have that INXS song in my head, “New sensation, a new sensation. Right now!” LOL
Anyway!!! It’s a new stage of this process. I’m thrilled that the pins are gone but I’m not sure I’m liking this boot. Because I’ve been completely non-weight bearing for 2 and a half months, the movement in my ankle is very limited. I can barely flex it up to neutral position. The way the boot is inside, the heel is slightly lower than the rest of the foot when you wear it. Well, since my ankle is unable to flex right now, I can’t get my heel all the way down in the boot. I try to push my ankle in, I try to bend it using my hand, but it’s painful and the joint just won’t go any further. I’ve had to put padding under the heel but it doesn’t really do any good. So, with the boot on and my foot flexed as far as it can go, I feel a constant stretch along the bottom of my foot. Those tendons are not happy campers after about 10 minutes of wearing the boot. My toes begin to tingle and then my foot starts to swell up. I’ve loosened the straps on the boot as much as possible but the tight feeling from the swelling won’t go away. I iced my foot last night. I’m allowed to take the boot off to sleep and once it came off, the pain went away and I had a very restful sleep. When I put the thing back on this morning, the pain started all over again. Currently, as i type, I feel the soreness from the ball of my foot, down into toe #3,4,and 5. More so in toe 3 and toe 4 (the brachy toe). All I can picture in my mind is this new bone that isn’t completely solidified, trying to hold everything together on it’s own without the help of the pins. Oh, please hold together!!! I did put a sock on my foot for the first time in 10 weeks. Feels weird!! I put a sock on since I have to wear the boot all day, I don’t want it getting funky, you know? 🙂 Thank goodness the weather is getting slightly cooler (low 90’s instead of 100’s) because the sock, padding, and boot are very warm. The part on my skin where the pins were is a little sore. Those just feel like what a normal cut would feel like. When my foot moves against the boot some, I might get a little stinging in those areas. All I have are 2 bandaids covering those pin holes. I’m supposed to allow the pin holes to close and by tomorrow (2 days total) I’m allowed to wash my foot normally! Yay!! A normal shower! Well, maybe not a shower since I still can’t put any weight on it except on my heel and I’m not ready for that yet. I’ll probably just sit in the bathtub and soak. Oh, that’s going to feel so good!!
So now, I’m just getting used to all the new sensations, dealing with the soreness as my foot tries to become a normal foot again. It should be getting easier from here on out. Yay me!! 🙂 Will post pics soon. Take care!
Day 81 – The pins are gone!!!
Woo-hoo!! I’m so happy! The pins are out! I’m now beginning the next stage of this treatment sans the external fixator. So, I was able to get through the pin removal being done in the office. I have to admit that it wasn’t without pain. I had a lot of tissue that grew around the pin so breaking through that was painful. As my doctor started to unscrew the pins, I felt a very uncomfortable pressure deep in my foot. Then, I felt a shooting pain go through my foot. I don’t know if that was from a nerve being touched or what. The uncomfortable pressure turned into a painful achiness with random shooting pains while the pin was unscrewed. Pin #2 was just as painful but more tissue must’ve grown around that one because it felt like my skin was getting ripped off. I guess technically it was. Pin #3 and #4 had the exact same deep achy pain and pulling/stinging on my skin. There was nothing comfortable about it, but I would definitely do it again to avoid a day of nausea from anesthesia/surgery. I just gritted my teeth and got through it, then it was over. My foot feels a little achy right now but not bad at all. I have a boot now. I’m allowed to put a little bit of weight on my heel, but no weight on the front part of my foot. He doesn’t even want me to drive for the next 2 weeks. Ugh! I’ not focusing on that, though. I’m just focusing on being free of the fixator and getting the go ahead to bathe. Yes!! I can get my foot wet now! Well, not now… he wants me to wait 2 days to let the pin holes close, then I can bathe normally!! Yay!! I’m thrilled! He told me he plans on getting me a bone stimulator now. That’s fine with me. anything to get that bone stronger. So happy now!! And no dislocation. Just the tendons doing funky things but the bone looks fine. He is confident that the toe will gradually find it’s way to its new home. Yay me.
Day 81 – Worried!
Well, I’ve barely gotten through another week. My doctor’s appointment is this afternoon. This feeling of dread is looming over me right now. I just have a bad feeling that things aren’t going to go well. I’m worried about how my toe’s been looking. Through this whole process, the toe has been laying higher than the rest. A lot of other blogs have reported the same thing and that their toe eventually makes its way down once the fixator comes off and they start getting more flexibility. Well, over the last few days, my toe is starting to angle toward my pinky toe. I’ve also had intermittent achiness as well. I can move the toe with my hand back into position and I feel no pain. Could it possibly be dislocated? I would think if it was, I would be feeling constant pain or at least have pain when I move the toe. Sometimes, first thing in the morning when I get up and start walking with my crutches, the muscles in my brachy foot will sort of respond in these weird reflexes of some sort. For example, I might feel the muscle in my pinkie toe contract and it feels like I’m trying to spread my toes. It happens involuntarily and it’s not painful whatsoever. I’m assuming it’s just the random stuff that happens when your nerves are healing. I’ve heard of random nerve firing when a broken bone is healing. Because this particular reflex of “toe spreading” seems to be happening a little more frequently lately, I’m wondering if it’s related to the toe now angling out. Does this even make any sense? It’s hard to explain. So I’m worried that the joint is starting to dislocate. If that happens, I’m assuming that will require another surgery which I was hoping to avoid. There’s so many unknowns in this treatment process and I’m having a lot of trouble with it. I like predictability and I like being in control. I have had neither for the last 3 months and it’s taking its toll. My kids keep on asking when am I going to be able to walk again. I wish I had an answer for them. I’m always on the phone trying to line up rides for all my kids activities. My son was invited to 2 birthday parties this weekend and I’ve finally been able to line up rides for that. He’s going to have to settle for taking gift cards to the birthday kids because I’m not sure I want to trust my husband with the task of getting birthday presents for kids he doesn’t know. I feel that my poor kids are getting cheated out of so much because of what I decided to do to myself. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but I didn’t anticipate the level of how much my kids are being affected. My husband has been super-stressed lately and like most of us out there, I feel that it’s all my fault. Well, I will have another glimpse of my fate this afternoon. Wish me luck.
Day 75 – One more week…AGAIN!
Had my doctor’s appointment yesterday. After the x-rays, my doctor comes in with an uncertain look on his face. There is definitely more bone growth than last week, but he said he still wasn’t completely comfortable removing the fixator. He said he would feel a lot more at ease waiting another 7 days. So, here I am again… waiting. He said that if the bone were to break, my recovery from that will be a LOT longer than if I just wait one more week to be certain. I definitely don’t want to screw this up now after all I’ve been through. To be so close to the end and then have a complication like that just from my impatience. So, I took the mature, high road and took the news in stride. The light at the end of the tunnel is getting brighter and brighter. I’ve gone 75 days, what’s 7 more, right?
Day 67 – And the doctor said…
<sigh>…another week. I have to wear this thing another week at the least. He said the x-ray looks great. There is definite bone growth but he doesn’t feel that it’s strong enough yet to remove the fixator. He said if it’s not strong enough, the whole thing could break on the spot. I admit, there were tears when I got this result. But I assured him (and myself) that I completely understand and I don’t want to risk any serious complication so close to the end. He was very sympathetic. So after moping for a while after the appointment, I’m picking myself up, getting back on my “foot” (lol), and I’m going to plow through these next 7 days. I CAN DO THIS!!
I’m still leaning towards having the pins removed in the office. He told me that he would be prepared and have the tools to take it out on Thursday if the bone looks ready. He said he’s “cautiously optimistic”. Unfortunately, what I thought was the beginning of an infection, turns out I have tissue starting to grow around 2 of the pins. He called it “granulation tissue” and it reacts to the peroxide when I clean it. That explains all the bubbling. Because of this tissue growth, it’s going to make the pin removal more uncomfortable and probably painful. So, he said he can just give me a local anesthestic injection and I won’t feel any pain. I know the local will hurt like hell but it’ll only last a few seconds. I’ve had them before. They sting and then it’s gone. So, I’m pretty sure that’s the route I’m going to take. I CAN DO THIS!!
So now I’m trying my best not to be pitiful and to repeat my mantra, I CAN DO THIS! I CAN DO THIS! I CAN DO THIS!
Day 66 – Same ol’, same ol’
Sorry I haven’t posted in a while. Absolutely NOTHING has been happening around here. Just sitting and waiting, sitting and waiting, sitting and waiting. My kids started school this week and it’s been very difficult not being able to be the one to take them to school. My mom is here helping me out but I’m such a control freak, it’s difficult to be ok with the way she does things. I don’t complain! I just can’t wait to do things myself and my way!
I finally have a doctor’s appointment this afternoon. It feels like it’s been a month since I’ve been in even though it’s only been 2 weeks, 2 days. Dr. had originally told me that the average length of time to wait for bone growth tended to be 3 times the length of time of the distraction. Well, I distracted for 16 days. Multiply that by 3 and you get 48. Today is day 44 of waiting. I feel this appointment could be really great, or really heartbreaking. I told my husband that if he tells me I have to wait longer to get the pins out, I’m sure there will be tears this time.
As for getting the pins out, my doc said that he can either do it in the office or take me to the OR and put me under. I waver back and forth on which method to go. I’m petrified at doing it in the office. Doc said he could do it in 5 minutes. I’m so anxious to get these pins out, though, and being done with it so quick would be so wonderful. Of course, I worry about pain. Everyone, including my doc, told me that the suture removal was no big deal. Well, that was wrong!!! It was like getting stabbed multiple times with needles!! All he said was that the sutures were being “uncooperative”. The first suture slipped right out, but the rest were horrible. Then there’s the option of going to the OR. Obviously, that would be painless but I was quite nauseated after my last surgery and I really don’t want to have to deal with that again. I know I can always tell the anesthesiologist about that and get anti-nausea meds but there’s still no guarantee. I would also have to schedule the procedure and wait even longer.
At this very moment, I’m leaning towards having it done in the office. If he tells me today that he could take them out right then, I’m doing it!! I went through 2 natural childbirths (that’s right…no pain meds!!) and I survived. I can get through the pin removal, right? But then, he might say, “another 2 weeks”. Oh Lord, please don’t let him say that!!!!
So, right now I’ll go back to waiting, and waiting, and waiting…
Day 42 – Time moves so slow!
Well, time has decided to slow down drastically. It feels like it was a month ago that I had my doctor’s appointment but in reality, it’s been 6 days. I’m used to going in weekly but since we’re done with the distraction, we’ve gone to every 2 weeks. Trying to get out and about has kind of backfired on me, too. My family went out with some friends for dinner on Friday night. My parents came into town on Saturday and my mom took me shopping that afternoon. Had to take my husband to urgent care Saturday night for abdominal pain. (Ruled out gall bladder, apppendicitis, and all the other major stuff so he needs to just follow up with a GI doc.) Sunday, went out to lunch with my parents before they left to go back home. I am now utterly exhausted from the weekend. During this whole treatment process, I’ve gained some weight and I feel horrible. My endurance is gone, my back hurts, my knee hurts, and I feel like such a slug. I’m normally an active person and I can’t wait until I can start working out again! I never wanted to exercise so bad in my life! It’s amazing how much we take things like that for granted.
I called the doctor’s office this morning with a concern. I’m waiting for my nurse to call me back. I’m supposed to clean the pin sites and change my bandages every other day. After I clean the pin sites, I’m supposed to put triple antibiotic ointment on it. I’ve been very generous with the ointment because I want to ward off an infection as much as possible. Well, that means, everytime I remove the bandages, there’s gooped up ointment around the pin sites. I use peroxide to break up the glob and it comes right off. Well, the 2 pins closest to my foot are much closer together than the pins near my ankle. I’m instructed to use a q-tip dipped in peroxide to do the cleaning but the q-tip won’t fit in between the pins to reach the skin in there. Since my last appointment, which was last Tuesday, ointment goop is caught in there. I’ve tried and tried to get it out but the more I mess with it, the more tender it gets. Well, now instead of tender, the area has begun to sting. There are no other signs of an infection, though. No redness, no increased swelling in the area, no drainage, it’s not warm to the touch, or anything else. So, I’m assuming the increased pain is just from me messing with it but I decided to call the nurse just to mention all of this to her. I don’t know how important it is to get that goop out. Since it’s antibiotic ointment, can dried up ointment still harbor bacteria? So that’s where I’m at now. My patience is wearing thin but my waistline is anything but. I have plently of things to do to keep me busy, I just don’t have the motivation to do them. I just have the urge to sit here, mope, and feel sorry for myself. Pathetic, huh?
Well, I said in a previous post that I would get some pictures posted so here it goes.
My brachy toe is now longer than my pinky toe. It could have been lengthened some but because of the pain, we stopped. Also, my other foot has brachy (just not as noticeable) so my doc said that my feet will match. Sounds good to me!
This gives you an idea of how swollen my foot is. It’s looked like this since I had the surgery.
Another pic to compare my normal foot to the swollen foot.
I had some requests to post a pic of my left foot. It also has brachymetatarsia but it’s not anywhere near as severe as my right foot. I have no intention on having this foot corrected.
This foot has the fixator on it. You can see my fourth toe making its way into position. Hoping it will settle down into place when the fixator comes off. Don’t know if you can see, but I’m having some skin problems on my big toe. It was peeling and flaky and tender. This is after cleaning it with a damp cloth. Now the part with the peeling skin is very tender.
That’s all I have now. Thanks for reading!
Day 37 – No miracles.
Had my doctor’s appointment today. Everything looks good. I’m showing some bone growth. Told to keep up exactly what I’m doing and come back in 2 weeks. <sigh> I was hoping to hear, “Wow!! What a miracle!! You grow bone faster than any patient I’ve ever had!!” But no miracles here. Apparently I grow bone as fast as the average person. Looks like I’ll keep this fixator for another 4-5 weeks. Ugh!! I’ll just make myself look on the bright side… no infection and the fact that there IS bone growth. I could be one of those people that doesn’t have any. That would be devastating! So, I’m trying to stay positive. I’m getting better maneuvering on my crutches so maybe I’ll venture out a little more with the help of friends.
Thanks for following and I’ll update soon!
brachygoneforever 